Thinking outside the bra

Throughout the summer, there have been numerous awareness and fundraising events to hopefully, one day, beat cancer.

I applaud this and find it incredibly inspiring, but I also feel frustrated as it almost feels as though the fundraising and raising awareness starts and stops at breast cancer or testicular cancer. Before I carry on with this post, I would like to say that I never want to take away from the pain and devastation that any cancer can cause.

However, I think it's time that the stigma surrounding a woman's reproductive organs was abolished. Target Ovarian Cancer states that because of the lack of knowledge surrounding the health of ovaries, the cervix and uterus, those are the cancers we need to focus on. The 'silent killers' are just as devastating but the victims almost appear voiceless.

I was drawn to Target Ovarian Cancer when I was diagnosed with PCOS, as one of the risks long-term is developing Ovarian cancer. A terrifying thought at the age of 22, but still, it really opened my eyes to the fact that I knew nothing about it. I had no idea what the symptoms might be, how to be checked, how to get diagnosed and what sort of support platforms there are around the country (and the world).

Ovarian cancer is the second largest killer in women.

I used to think I was quite lucky, having little contact with cancer or it's damage, but in the space of twelve months I have unfortunately faced it head on. My nan recently passed away from cervical cancer, and I feel so angry at the fact that I knew nothing about it. Could it be different if there was more education about the symptoms and how to get checked? Smear tests are good on the tin, but where is the emphasis on the importance of attending the initial appointments to ensure that there are no cancerous cells lurking about.

Ultimately, I just wish there was more understanding and people would remove the stigma surrounding the female body. Cancer is not just limited to the bra area, and the more we talk about the body, I feel that more women will be more open to asking questions and ensuring they know the facts outside the SMEAR test.

I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do to contribute to beating cancer. I could sign up for Race for Life, or I could bake for a coffee morning to talk about the symptoms, the risks, the devastation it could lead.

Welcome to Graduate Life - you did it!

It has been a very long time since I updated this blog, and so I thought I would write an entry about where I am now.


My last post focused on being diagnosed with PCOS, and I will admit that for a time I struggled accepting that diagnosis. I don't think anyone can really prepare you for something like that, and I still don't think I have fully come to terms with it, but everything will work out the way it is supposed to.


The most exciting development in my life is that I am finally a BA (Hons) History graduate, having successfully completed my degree in June this year. After writing 10,000 words on the impact of art and literature on the culture of remembrance, I left the University of Derby with these valuable lessons:

1. I love history, and I believe the experiences I shared with my classmates were some of the best (and worst), and I will always cherish the last three years.
2. As cliché as it may sound, the biggest lesson I had was the one with myself. My confidence is at an all new high, and I am able to really stand on my own two feet. Like I said, cliché but very true.
3. Job searching is currently the bain of my life.

Countless interviews and rejection emails are the inspiration behind this post. The most popular feedback 'you do not have the experience we are looking for' has resulted in me exploring new opportunities and really thinking about what it is I want from a career.




Is it money? Happiness? Progression or working with a specific group of people?


I do believe that job searching is one of the most soul-destroying things anyone can go through because it almost feels like there are so many reasons for why people should not give you the chance as opposed to facing my reality and understanding that... I have relentlessly worked so hard just to be here.


Anyway, I do not want to turn this blog into a heated rant about the unjust conditions of graduate life. My only advice to those who are still studying or who have just embarked on their studies as an undergraduate... never restrict yourself and never turn down opportunities.


Big or small, those are the things that will enable you to create your own luck and your own success. Go for it!


Since January, I have been researching tons and tons of gluten-free and low carb recipes, cooking them, hating them, improving them and writing down my thoughts on each and every one of them. I am doing this because I really want to produce my own gluten-free cookbook.

There are a number of these around, but not on a student budget which I found the hardest task in my final year of studies. My food has less ingredients, so why do supermarkets charge me so much more?!

SO!

I am going to be using this blog to research and talk over my ideas. It not only gives me something to do as I search for my lifelong career, but I always thought... I wish I had someone to sit me down and hand me a load of gluten-free recipes. Instead, I had to look for my own and place a sizeable order of books on my Christmas list, and so I have felt inspired to not only research for myself, but the many other students out there who are trying their best to make things happen.

Why I am gluten-free

I have had quite a number of people asking me why I have suddenly changed my diet, and why have I found it so easy to adjust to things like no sugar in my tea etc. I have debated whether or not to write this blog entry, and believe me when I say I have deleted it, rewrote it, deleted it and rewrote it several times.

 

I have come to the decision that my medical condition will not define who I am and what I stand for, and so I have decided to bite the bullet and explain.

 

In October, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) after over 18 months of piling on the weight, feeling ill and tired constantly as well as having strong migraines and such. I finally had enough of feeling low, so I decided to go to the walk-in centre nearby where the doctor suggested I visit my GP and request a test for PCOS. I did, and whilst I was nervous I didn't fully understand what PCOS was until the results came back positive. My blood tests show I have a high level of testosterone and other hormone imbalances, and as a result I have excess hair growth as well as terrible bouts of low self-confidence and weird mood swings (I can be really happy, and then really sad within the space of a few minutes and then happy again).

 

PCOS is an endocrine disorder, and as a result my body produces too much testosterone which has an impact on my reproductive organs. Whilst it is not impossible to have children with PCOS, the condition does make it more difficult.

 

I have also discovered that I am gluten-intolerant as a result of PCOS too, and as you may know, if your body is allergic to certain foods your body will start to react to it, which releases more corticosteroids in the body, which then result in a lower immune system. So because of this, I have decided to follow a gluten-free, sugar-free and low-carb diet to maintain my weight and my overall health as diet is key to managing the symptoms of PCOS.

 

Part of me has come to terms with this condition, and I know that there isn't much I can do in terms of fixing it as there is no cure, but there is another part of me which is struggling to understand it, which is why I have been discreet about it up until now. Many women keep this condition to themselves, and I understand why. For me, this condition almost meant I wasn't a 'woman' anymore for a while, and it was hard to not become angry when my life ambition has been to have children. It's an isolating condition and it's not something people understand easily. I have had a fantastic network of people supporting me, like many of the women I speak to, but it's daunting to think that I will need medical assistance to be able to have children and the diet is so frustrating as the ingredients are not as readily available, and if they are they do cost a substantial amount more compared to ready meals and so on.

 

I'm not ashamed of this condition, and whilst it is still frustrating and upsetting at times, I have decided that I want to learn more about PCOS and I want to be in control of it, rather than it over me. It's a liberating feeling to find new recipes and new information, and that's why I have decided to start blogging again, focusing largely on my diet, cooking and gluten-free products.

 

Hopefully this blog will eventually provide someone else with the feeling that they're not on their own, and whilst PCOS is isolating at first, there are ways of handling it and overcoming it.